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Take an Anti-attachment
pill to attract your ideal relationship
Dear Soul Mate Coach,
I've heard you say surrender to never having a relationship
and you'll get one sooner. I don't understand that and have a really
hard time with saying, "I'll be fine, if I never have another
relationship." I won't! I want someone who I can spend my life
with and I feel very sad and even angry with the thought that I
wasn't meant to have someone. I have been single for a very long
time now and I really want to meet my special man. Please explain
how if we create with our thoughts - then why would I want to say,
"I don't want or need a man - or that I'm fine and I surrender
to never having my soul mate in my life?"
For me, this is truly the hardest spiritual concept to explain and
to fully embrace and understand. The Law of Detachment says that
as you want something and allow it - it is. However, for most of
us we WANT something really bad but then we don't allow it. We list
all the reasons why we haven't had it in the past. We continue to
justify our feelings by listing why we are angry that we don't have
it now and why it's unfair that God has withheld our desire from
us, etc. We groan negatively in this manner because we are so attached
to having it. The truth is we're a bit spoiled and "We want
- what we want - when we want it!"
For singles specifically, this seesaw of "I want it - but don't
have it" is exactly what keeps it away. For example, think
about the following and see if you have ever said these things:
"I want a relationship
- but I haven't had one in so long."
"I want a relationship - but I don't seem to meet any nice
men/women that are available."
"I want a relationship - but I want to lose weight first or
change first."
"I want a relationship - but all the good ones are taken."
"I want a relationship - but I don't have the time to go out
and meet anyone."
"I want a relationship - and I feel like God has forsaken me
by not giving me one."
Have you ever said or thought anything similar to the above? What
do you say to yourself or to others about why you don't have a mate?
What do you say about how you feel about not having a mate? How
often does that thought cross your mind?
This is important so I'm going to say it again - this negative rationalizing
(or limiting beliefs) about why we don't have what we want and how
unfair it is -- is the very thing that keeps our desire separate
from us. This is ATTACHMENT. The separateness that we feel (or negative
emotion) is our indication that we are attached. And as long as
you are attached to what you want - you are not allowing it. You
will most likely have fear about NOT having it and this fear actually
repels your desire. Bill Ferguson, author of Miracles are Guaranteed
and other books calls this: "relationship repellant."
If you were not attached to what you want, then you would not have
limiting, negative thoughts and feelings about how sad or angry
you are about not having it and thereby repel it.
Get rid of attachment and you get rid of your repellant. What is
needed is to apply the Law of Detachment. Deepak Chopra writes of
the Law of Detachment in his best seller, The Seven Spiritual Laws
of Success: "In detachment lies the wisdom of uncertainty...in
the wisdom of uncertainty lies freedom from our past, from the unknown,
which is the prison of past conditioning. And in our willingness
to step into the unknown, the field of all possibilities, we surrender
ourselves to the creative mind that orchestrates the dance of the
universe."
The willingness to step into the unknown is practicing detachment.
From my experience, the quickest cure for ATTACHMENT disease is
what I call a DETACHMENT INJECTION or you may call it Anti-attachment
medicine. It's true, the treatment like much of allopathic medicine
does not treat the cause of the attachment disease and not only
is it hard to swallow but every time you discover you are infected
with the negative attachment virus - you will have to doctor yourself
with this injection. The good news is - it works EVERY TIME - without
fail, when you truly commit.
Here's the prescription - Repeat the following to yourself as needed
whenever symptoms of attachment occur:
"I totally surrender to whatever is meant to be and if I am
meant to NOT have a relationship, then I'm okay with that. I accept
whatever happens as what is perfect for me. I am willing to accept
NOT finding my soul mate as part of God's Divine Plan for me - and
I'm okay with that. I accept the perfection of my life and know
all is well. I want a relationship and my ideal relationship looks
like this (fill in the blanks) but I am so fulfilled in my life
right now - that it doesn't matter if I ever have one. I'm okay
- exactly as I am now. I am happy with my life right now and I don't
need a mate to be happy. I surrender to the Divine Plan for my life,
now."
I always get the question, "What about the issue of really
creating that it will never come?" Let me clarify - detached
does not mean unemotional, uncaring, resigned or even complacent.
The ECKANKAR Dictionary defines detachment as:
Giving up strong affection for the environment and possessions,
but not ceasing to identify with them; becoming independent of them;
mentally free from love of the world and all worldly desires.
Detachment simply means that no matter what we have in life - we
will not be crushed if it is taken from us or if we never receive
it. It means we have the attitude of total trust in life to give
us what it is for our own highest good and spiritual advantage.
Think about the most attractive people - the men and women that
you've met that always seem to have a relationship. The ones that
are never single long and when they are single - they get hit on,
asked out and pursued more than anyone else. What do they have in
common? -- Confidence and Detachment. They are confident that they
WILL have a relationship and they are detached from having to have
one. You might hear them say, "I like them but I could care
less, if he or she calls me back." Or you might here them say,
"I didn't even want a relationship and I found one!"
You want to use this confidence and detachment to your advantage.
When you can say, "I enjoy my life so much right now - and
I don't care if I never have a relationship," and mean it -then
you are in harmony with allowing - then you are detached and then
you will attract your ideal relationship.
Written & Copyrighted by © Anisa Aven
To subscribe to Anisa's Creative Manifesting newsletter and receive
her FREE Conscious Creation 101 - 5-part e-course on the basics
of manifesting please visit http://www.creatavision.com/creative_manifesting.htm
or visit her websites at http://www.CreataVision.com
or http://www.ManifestingProsperity.com
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